


broken vow

by goandneverlookback



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Alone, Angst, Cheating, Divorce, Heartbreak, Loneliness, Song fic, josh groban - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 02:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goandneverlookback/pseuds/goandneverlookback
Summary: There's more to love than only bitterness and lies...I close my eyes....





	broken vow

"What is her name? Oh God, what is her _name?"_ I should have seen it coming. Of all the emotions flooding through me, surprise is not one of them. I was never thin enough, never pretty enough, never good enough...never enough. I'm too driven, too focused on work, too independent. I'm not sexy enough, rarely have any desire for sex. It's understandable that he'd seek comfort elsewhere. In a twisted way, I deserved it. He stands before me, boxes and bags packed. He's leaving me, moving in with her. Maybe he'll be happy now. Maybe she can be what he needs. God knows I never was. I didn't deserve him. He was too good for me. But God, I loved the man so fiercely, so completely; it terrified me. And I thought he loved me back. The beginning was delightful. Stolen moments together, love notes and flowers, endless smiles and laughter. We blossomed into a love deeper than I could've ever imagined. He asked to marry him, and against all logical reasoning, i said _yes._ Everything was...wonderful. We had our ups and downs, our highs and lows, our fights and making up, just like any couple. But we were together, and things were _good._ Until they weren't. Until...the case. A pedophiliac serial killer. The autopsy of a child is always hard. But child after child after child, scouring the bodies for evidence to bring justice and closure to these children and their families...it was almost unbearable. I was consumed, obsessed almost. It'd be too late when I finally got home. He would be asleep already. I'd curl up in bed and cling to him as though he was the only stable thing left in the world. To me, he was. But the waking hours we spent together grew colder as they grew fewer. The case dragged on and when I came home at night he smelled of alcohol and sparkled with residual glitter. I pretended not to notice, but I knew where he'd been. I blamed myself. Who wouldn't? At last, we stopped the monster. But I couldn't stop the distance growing between myself and the one I loved. Weeks of the bitter cold turned into months, truths turned into lies. I watch him go, my heart breaking even further than I thought was possible. All these years...I'd finally learned to love, to trust. He takes my love and trust with him when he leaves. As his truck rounds the corner, a tear slips down my cheek. I slide my back down the wall and give in to the heart wrenching sobs overwhelming me. Despite all of the logical reasons I've provided myself with, my heart will not stop asking _why._ This is where I spend the night, crying myself into a restless slumber in front of our—my—front window. Morning comes and I pull myself together the best I can. Days spent saving the world and nights spent alone turn into weeks, then months. I work to convince myself there's more to life, more to love, than bitterness and lies. Divorce papers are finalized. He is free of me, and I fight to teach myself how to be okay again. Until I see him walking down the street across from me, a beautiful blonde on his arm. It's her; I know it is. He smiles at her and it hits me like a fist to the stomach. Nausea rolls through me and I duck into the nearest shop, praying for a restroom to escape to. Up comes the little bit of lunch I managed to choke down. I rest my head against the wall and close my eyes, memories flooding though me, clear as the days they were made. What I wouldn't give to be her right now. To see him, to call him mine, to hold him forever. But in the end, all we had amounted to nothing more than a broken vow.

 


End file.
